Doors

I have been thinking a lot about doors lately.  How they open. Who opens them.  We recently watched the movie Temple Grandin and there is a running theme throughout the movie about doors - "they open up a whole new world".  Sometimes I think we try and create doors that really shouldn't be there.  Other times the door is so big, grand and right in front of us but we can't see what is on the other side.  These doors take a lot of courage to even approach and open.  Then there are the times when we have to choose between doors.  This could be the most intimidating of them all.  How do we choose?  By choosing one door we are not choosing the other door.

When we opened this business I believed the door was opened for me.  Everything happened easily and without much struggle.  It was challenging and it took courage to actually do it but for the most part it happened easily.  I had a meeting with my family at the beginning of all of this.  We discussed what life would be like around the house while we got the business up and running.  I told them this first year was going to be hard.  Very hard.  I knew I wouldn't be around much.  What I didn't know was what impact that would have on my family.  I am now seeing the results of this.  At first it was something everyone could handle but now that we are going on 7 months they are getting tired of me not being around.  I am tired of not being around.  I LOVE my business but I love my family more.  I have started to wonder if that door was truly open for me or if I created it for my own personal benefit.

I have to believe that I am suppose to be doing this with my business.  So much good is coming to so many people because of it.  I see change in bodies and minds every single day and that could not possibly be a bad thing.  I am hoping doors will continue to open so that we can hire some instructors and I can spend some quality time with my family during the week.  There is enough of me to go around but just not enough hours in the day.  My family has been so supportive and initially I expected to have them at The Edge all of the time but as it turns out my dream is not exactly their dream.  I am experiencing the effect of my actions on the people I love and I hope that someday they too will look back on this time and say yes it was a struggle but in the end it all worked out and it was worth it.  I am giving it a bit more time.  I believe eventually I will be able to balance both my family life and my business life.  Challenge is good.  Change is good.  Both produce growth.  The biggest challenge is knowing when to change.

Our Christmas Card

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_e9No6-5umg&context=C3c7b757ADOEgsToPDskJ-mJDaBwLAgzeJvBcX8l5U

Thankful

Two years ago today I got the phone call that brought me to my knees.  First in fear and anguish and then in prayer.  It took a few days but God poured his grace over me and I knew everything was as it should be.  He has been so good to me and today I am nothing but thankful.  Thankful to have the friends and family He has given me. Thankful for the doctors and nurses that took care of me. Thankful for my health and to simply be alive.  I am extremely thankful to have the faith that I do - it has carried me when I was not strong enough to carry myself.  This Christmas I wish all of you the peace and comfort that comes in knowing you are right where you are supposed to be.  I challenge you to live your life in gratitude - looking at the things you DO have.  I hope that you look at each hiccup in your life as another opportunity to grow and I wish you the courage to succeed and overcome obstacles.  Most of all I wish you love.  Love from others.  Love for others. I hope you feel His love, the most powerful love I have ever felt, surrounding you.  I most sincerely wish you a very merry, meaningful and beautiful Christmas.

Conviction

There have been very few things I have done in my life with total conviction.  Most of the time when stepping into the unknown there is trepidation and fear.  I would be lying if I told you I was completely convicted when I married John.  I married him when I was 24 and although at the time I thought I was quite mature I was incredibly "young".  The outcome of our marriage also depended on both of us and I had to  learn to trust him completely.  Honestly, I had a hard time thinking that I was good enough for someone to want to spend the rest of their life with me - I had a lot of self doubt in those days.  Fortunately for both of us John hung in there with me while I grew up.  We are in it for the long haul and now I can say with utmost certainty that He is my "one".  I love him with all of my heart and am completely convicted in our relationship.

I knew from the get go that our decision to have children was right.  I wasn't sure what kind of parents we would make but I knew that we would try our absolute best.  I never questioned that decision.

The only other two times I entered into something with complete conviction was when I began cancer treatment and when I started our business.  Both scary but not once did I think that either one would not be successful.  I believe that when you do something with that much conviction you are bound to get something right.  Conviction keeps you going.  It gets you through the rough patches.  It gives you courage you might not normally have.  It lets you know how capable you are.  It makes dreams come true.

Guess what we got?

The janitor at Jack's school was giving them away so of course we took two :)  Jack's Christmas present to Julia.

Embrace Birthdays!

This is the new "movement" I am starting. I think it is ridiculous that we sometimes dread the passing of time - we should be so thankful that we have had that time and excited by the opportunity to get more of it! A friend of mine posted this on her blog and I wanted to re-post it here too (thanks Marni!). Some wonderful truths :)

Written by Regina Brett, 90 years old. This is something we should all read at least once a week!!!!! 

"To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the most requested column I've ever written. My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more:
 1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Change the way you think.
4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and family will. Stay in touch.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. Release your children when they become adults, its their life now
 9. Save for retirement starting with your first pay cheque.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye.
16. Take a deep breath It calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Just because you believe you are right, doesn't mean you are. Keep an open mind.
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?'
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. Your job is to love your children, not choose who they should love.
35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood.
38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.
41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
42. The best is yet to come...
 43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
44. Yield..
45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift."

Height

This one is for all of those who don't get to see us that often. Jack is quickly rising up to meet me - this is us standing back to back. Hello 13 - I wonder what this photo will look like when he is 16?