Focus

I had a long talk with my sweet 12 year old boy today. He is just entering the throws of puberty with all of the ups an downs. The sudden flashes of anger or energy. Not knowing why you are in a bad mood or what is making you uncomfortable. Everything blown into a much bigger proportion than necessary. On top of this ordinary jolt into adulthood he has to deal with the very large and scary notion that his mother has cancer. I can only imagine how he feels.

I explained to him that today - coming down off of steroids and pumped full of chemo I was feeling a bit of the same way. Edgy. Nervous. Like I can't get my heart out of my throat. Together we sat and calmed down. We looked at what was good. The sun was shining. He has good friends he can count on. We have our family and our love. We took all of those things beyond our control and let them go. We focused on what was real and now. We both started to breathe a bit easier and we both shed a tear in comfort and peace - because sometimes the tears come when what is good is overwhelming.