Hands

John and I were very fortunate to have been able to go on an actual "date" this past weekend. We went to dinner and a movie. While we were sitting in the movie theater waiting for the movie to start we were both looking at my hands. They have become a bit tattered to say the least. Chemo does a number on your nails and hands. The skin on the end of my fingers is darker than the rest of my hands and they are much more wrinkled than before. They remind me if my mothers hands. I vividly remember looking at her hands when she was going through chemo - I loved those hands. It also reminded me of a dream I had not too long after she passed away. I was sitting on a train holding someones hand. I did not know where I was going and I didn't see the face of the person I was holding hands with. I just looked down and knew with absolute certainty that it was my mother's hand.

After I woke up from that dream I went to look up what it might mean because it was so vivid. I guess when you dream of being on a train it is like the train is your life journey - my mom was holding my hand through it. I have never had a dream about a train before or since that night.