So I had my pre-op appointment with my plastic surgeon today.
"Wait, what surgery?" (you might ask).
I am having mixed feeling about what I am about to do. My plastic surgeon did an AMAZING job gluing me back together after my breasts were removed... AMAZING. I should be happy right? I am actually happy.... just really picky? I have a very wide sternum and one of my ribs kind of sticks out more on one side than the other. As a result I get a funny little hollow place on one side and it looks a bit unnatural. This little "problem area" has gotten a bit worse now that I am back to teaching full time and have lost a few lbs. The muscles on top of the implant are strong and they tend to pull the implants back toward my armpits so that hasn't helped either. Dr. Amazing thinks he can make some adjustments to fix this little indent and bring them more to the front of my body.
I am having a hard time with the "elective" part. Everything else I did was because I needed to. I don't "need" to do this - it is purely aesthetic. Does it bother me? Yes, I think about it every day. I am conscious of it when I am teaching and know it looks kinda funny. In reality I am really tired of thinking about my "breasts". I just want to not think about them anymore. Am I crazy? Am I vain? Probably both. It is not like getting a new pair of shoes or your haircut - it is surgery.
Regardless, the papers are signed and the surgery is scheduled for April 1st (hmmmm April fool's day..... should I be worried?). I am bummed about missing classes for a couple of weeks but want to get it over with and start healing before summer comes. I hope this will be the last of my run -ins with anesthesia for awhile - at least until these boobies wear out in 15 years:)
5 comments:
I've been thinking about you as this gets closer. Don't doubt yourself - you know what you're doing and you wouldn't go through with this if it didn't REALLY bother you. I'll call you this week - it's been a bit crazy around here...
you didn't get the warranty with the first set? :) ha ha. just kidding. I agree with Sally. This isn't purely aesthetic for you--you didn't really have a choice in having them removed in the first place so I think that if there is a way to make you more comfortable, then I am all for it. :) I'll leave some offerings by the door, too. Love you, Kris!
No you are not vain. It is apparent this is worrying you. So get it done and on with the rest of your life.
yeah ditto to all that. you are not getting a boob job. you do not have boobs anymore becuase they were cut off you body. you also went through cemo and lost all your hair. you did all this with grace and style so whatever, call it whatever you want to call it you deserve to be happy with your body and if DR wonderful can do it and i can afford it GO BIG GIRL
Be content with the decision you made. Dr. Amazing will make sure you are alright, and the prayers from all who follow and love you will be hovering over you as the procedure is performed. You are contained in a bubble of LOVE my dear, your trials and tribulations were somehow necessary for God's unfathomable reason's and now let the HEALING proceed! AMEN!
Post a Comment