Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Doors

I have been thinking a lot about doors lately.  How they open. Who opens them.  We recently watched the movie Temple Grandin and there is a running theme throughout the movie about doors - "they open up a whole new world".  Sometimes I think we try and create doors that really shouldn't be there.  Other times the door is so big, grand and right in front of us but we can't see what is on the other side.  These doors take a lot of courage to even approach and open.  Then there are the times when we have to choose between doors.  This could be the most intimidating of them all.  How do we choose?  By choosing one door we are not choosing the other door.

When we opened this business I believed the door was opened for me.  Everything happened easily and without much struggle.  It was challenging and it took courage to actually do it but for the most part it happened easily.  I had a meeting with my family at the beginning of all of this.  We discussed what life would be like around the house while we got the business up and running.  I told them this first year was going to be hard.  Very hard.  I knew I wouldn't be around much.  What I didn't know was what impact that would have on my family.  I am now seeing the results of this.  At first it was something everyone could handle but now that we are going on 7 months they are getting tired of me not being around.  I am tired of not being around.  I LOVE my business but I love my family more.  I have started to wonder if that door was truly open for me or if I created it for my own personal benefit.

I have to believe that I am suppose to be doing this with my business.  So much good is coming to so many people because of it.  I see change in bodies and minds every single day and that could not possibly be a bad thing.  I am hoping doors will continue to open so that we can hire some instructors and I can spend some quality time with my family during the week.  There is enough of me to go around but just not enough hours in the day.  My family has been so supportive and initially I expected to have them at The Edge all of the time but as it turns out my dream is not exactly their dream.  I am experiencing the effect of my actions on the people I love and I hope that someday they too will look back on this time and say yes it was a struggle but in the end it all worked out and it was worth it.  I am giving it a bit more time.  I believe eventually I will be able to balance both my family life and my business life.  Challenge is good.  Change is good.  Both produce growth.  The biggest challenge is knowing when to change.

2 comments:

"effervescencia" said...

Family has an amazing resilience to it. The moment there is time for you to give them time, it will seem that the stress and strain of these months were never there! Hold on, just a lil' bit longer :)

"effervescencia" said...

And today, it has been a year. You left this space and went away... are you well? Are you happy? Come back :)