The phone call came today at around 12:30. I looked at the caller ID and saw that it was my doctors office. I quickly answered. She said "Hi is this Kristin?this is doctor Freeman's office" I said "yes". She said "we would like to make an appointment for you to come in this afternoon"....
That was when the blood left my body and my heart started beating hard - I have never felt that way before. I managed to get off of the phone but sat in my chair and broke down. Went in to tell John and broke down.
The details of the rest of the day are insignificant other than the moment I had to tell my children. I will never forget that moment for the rest of my life. Their sweet little faces seemed to be even younger than they already are. We all cried - the 4 of us.
I am going to do my best to be strong. I will use every bit of fight in me (and that is a lot). But I feel the shock to my body of the news right now. I have become very tuned into my physical body while teaching classes and I can observe things that are going on. The fast heartbeat does not go away. There is almost a tingling sensation all of the time (fear I am sure) and my body can't seem to regulate it's temperature. All symptoms of shock I am guessing. Up until this news I was feeling very good and healthy.
Sleep will not come easy tonight even though I am beyond exhausted.
Pray for me and my family.