I am usually very careful about what I say and rarely let things come out of my mouth that I regret ....but. The other day after a very high stress day and a few sips into my Friday night cocktail something flew out of my mouth that I didn't even recognize. It was ugly. It was gross. It was shocking. And it was directed at a friend of mine.
How quickly I wanted to scoop it back up and shovel it back into my mouth but as we all know words are one thing we can't take back. I can try and analyze why I did what I did - alcohol, stress, release - but in the end there was absolutely no excuse for what I did. I was instantly remorseful and embarrassed and sick to my stomach. I felt small and flawed and unworthy.
The most amazing thing about this story is that my friend forgave me. In the light of that I am truly humbled. She was much bigger than me. I know the words I said hurt her - they stung like that thorn on a rose - but she forgave me. It made me realize how I tend to judge people by what they say and that perhaps I judge too quickly. We are all human. Conditioned to make mistakes. All we can do when one strikes us is learn and grow and try not to repeat them. I will see things in a different light now - knowing that there is ugliness in all of us and on occasion it slips out.