Last September, right after I started teaching Zumba, I started to notice a "feeling". It is hard to describe but it was like a peace came over me. Everything was going so well and I sort of knew that it was a "gift" and that something was going to change. It was not like waiting for the other shoe to drop. I was not panicked or worried - something just told me to enjoy the now.
I had the same feeling during the few days between my biopsy and the results. A calm. I think I knew before the results were in that something was going to happen.
Often I think I have had that voice in my head telling me something and I have either chosen to ignore it or was too busy to hear it. This past year the voice has been louder. There has been no question that it was there. You could call it a sixth sense or you could call it God's grace. Too many times I have tried to use my other senses to make decisions - trying to maneuver the maze of life touching, listening, seeing just what is right in front of me. If I had only used that grace to see the big picture the way through the maze would have been clear.
Once again I have that calm. I have anticipation about the surgery but not anxiety or dread. I have replaced the word "good" with "easy" and the word "bad" with "hard". I know the road ahead will be rough - full of pot holes and rocks - but I can see the beautiful black asphalt on the other side and my VW is fueled and ready to go into sports mode once I am there.