Saturday, February 27, 2010


As many of you know or have gathered, I am a fitness instructor (although not for the past couple of months). I teach many classes - pilates, dance, yoga but I would have to say my baby is BodyFlow. BodyFlow is a compilation of yoga, Thai chi and pilates set to beautiful music. On many occasions when I have been teaching and we have come towards the end of class I see people brought to tears. I have always wondered what it was that made them do this. Was it the music? Did something release in them while stretching? Is it a sad moment or a happy one?

I have always anticipated getting the new music and DVD in the mail so I could anxiously open the package and see what new things I could learn to teach our members. Yesterday the new release came in the mail. I just threw it on my desk. You see about a week ago I ventured into the gym - it wasn't to work out or take a class - just to help decorate the group fitness room. It was the first time I had been in there since I started Chemo. I became very emotional and had to leave. I was so frustrated that I could not be there to teach classes - something I love so much. It was a realization that my road ahead might be long before I can get back to "normal". So, the arrival of these materials just frustrated me.

Today though I was board and sitting at my computer - my eyes kept glancing over at the box. Finally I opened it. I thought - "well maybe I can look at a few tracks". In the last few weeks I have tried to do an entire class in my living room and could never make it through - my body rebelled. Today though I started at the beginning and did not hold back - I made it to the end - and without warning tears started streaming down my face. I was overcome. Thrilled with this minor accomplishment - "I made it through a class". Maybe this is all anyone feels when those tears stream down their faces. Maybe it is something altogether different. All I know is that today - I feel hope.


Sally said...

That's NOT a minor accomplishment! Congratulations, Kristin - I know how much that means to you, and I'm so happy you did it! There's nothing but hope and "normal" in your future. Be patient with yourself and remember these great moments to get you through the hard ones. Way to go!!! You amaze me. :-)

Aaron Thomae said...