Happy Halloween!!!!

Gifts

I received some amazing gifts for my birthday which I am blown away with. Everyone is so generous! John made me cry by spending weeks and weeks editing and compiling my blog over the last year into a published book. I can't wait to see the actual book (I had to see it online because John waited to get the last entry in there). I received beautiful clothes and amazing gift certificates and things for my home. From my Dad and his wife I received this amazing flower arrangement. I prefer to give gifts over receiving them but I am so thankful to everyone!!!

Glass half full

Today I am thinking about starting the second act of my life. After a long climb up, I am now cruising down the other side of that hill and boy is the view amazing! Isn't the second act of the play where all of the drama happens? The first act is when you build up the characters and the second act is when you see what happens to them. The best part is that usually there is a happy ending. Today I see my glass as half full. You know the last bit if red wine that has been absorbing all of that oxygen tastes the best!

Last Entry

I am leaving you with this. John passed it onto me and I simply don't have much to add to it. Thank you for taking this journey with me over the past year.

Old Farmer's Advice:

Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong.

Keep skunks and bankers at a distance.

Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.

A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor.

Words that soak into your ears are whispered...not yelled.

Meanness don't jes' happen overnight.

Forgive your enemies; it messes up their heads.

Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you.

It don't take a very big person to carry a grudge.

You cannot unsay a cruel word.

Every path has a few puddles.

When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.

The best sermons are lived, not preached.

Most of the stuff people worry about ain't never gonna happen anyway.

Don't judge folks by their relatives.

Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.

Live a good, honorable life.. Then when you get older and think back, you'll enjoy it a second time.

Don't interfere with somethin' that ain't bothering you none.

Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a Rain dance.

If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.

Sometimes you get, and sometimes you get got.

The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with, watches you from the mirror every mornin'.

Always drink upstream from the herd.

Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.

Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin' it back in.

If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around..

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply.

Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

--

Regrets

Looking back on this year and the last 40 years I really have no regrets. Every turn showed me something new and took me to a new place to grow. I really feel there are no mistakes in life only moments that teach us more than others. Regret only seems to breed more regret and that leaves you nothing of value. Every hiccup along the way has brought me to where I am today - happy, blessed, and surrounded by people I love. If I get hit by a truck tomorrow I will have died a truly happy person.

Brothers and Sisters

I sometimes wonder what life would have been like if my parents didn't have all 8 of us children. I can't imagine it at all. I am suppose to have these seven siblings. We are all very different in many ways and quite similar in others. The interesting thing is that I find a different connection with each one and at different times in my life. Sometimes I wonder how I fit into their lives. I used to take on the "eldest" roll but not so much anymore. After having my own children and realizing that I really don't know much about anything I relinquished my roll. It fascinates me to watch them all grow and see where their lives and decisions take them. When I was young we were one big clan. Everyone did everything together. Now our relationships have become more individual. I love all of them and I am so thankful that God gave me so many to love.

Imagination

When I was little I remember having quite an imagination. I had imaginary friends and pets and in my little world they were very real to me. Our biggest toy growing up in the mountains of Colorado was our own imagination. We would go outside to a group of big rocks and create a story. We used rocks and sticks and flowers for all sorts of things. The trees were our house and we made brooms out of pine branches. We never cared what we were wearing and in fact often wore as little as possible because we enjoyed the freedom. Most of my memories take place outside or lying in bed talking for hours to my sisters. The property we lived on had fields of wild flower and to this day I have never seen a field like that before.

Even though my children don't live in the mountains and most of the time wear clothes I still see that amazing creativity in their minds. I don't think it matters where you are or what is around you. When you are a child the whole world can be exciting - even if it is a mud pit in the back yard.

Defining Life moments

Our lives are marked with these significant moments. These moments when our path decides to go another direction.

My first would have to be moving to Hawaii. My first time away from home - living on my own. My first encounter with my future husband. Had I not moved to Hawaii things would be completely different. I remember making that choice. It was not easy. I wasn't sure if I should leave my family with my mother so sick. In the end I am glad I made the choice I did and I would do it again.

My second would have to be my Mom dying. This significantly changed how I viewed the world. This was a moment that was decided for me - there was no choice in it happening. The choice came when I had to decide how I was going to deal with it. A lot of who I am today is a result of this event and my reaction to it. Had she not been sick and died life would most definitely be different.

My third would be having Jack. The whole world of being pregnant, giving birth and suddenly being responsible for another human was very life changing. The love I felt for this little boy overwhelmed me.

And my final life changing event so far would be Julia but for different reasons. I was already used to the idea of pregnancy, birth and responsibility but Julia brought new circumstances and a new and different love I had never felt before.

I have moved often and changed jobs. I have had many different friends and trips but I wouldn't classify them as life changing in the biggest sense of the word. I can't really say that my faith was life changing as an event because it was and still is growing and changing every day. My faith is my life. I wonder how many more of these large moments I will have. 4 over 40 years is not that many.

A place in Heaven

I have to write about this. As I wrote before my sister Heidi took a bad fall on her bike and severely broke her arm. She had to wait over a week before she could have surgery. She is unable to move, work, shower - pretty much everything - and she is in a lot of pain. Now, my sister Emily is a very busy, working, single mother. She has been taking off work to help Heidi. She acquired a bed for her and delivered it. She helped make phone calls to the insurance company, she dusted and cleaned Heidi's entire house and bought a vacuum for her. Today she left for work at 6am. After work she ran an errand and picked up Myrah. She dropped Myrah at home before heading back to work for a meeting. After the meeting she went to 3 stores to pick things up for Heidi and went to her house and helped her shower (a huge feat because she can not get the dressing wet). Emily had left the house at 6am and didn't get home until after 10:30. Heidi was having a really hard day - sitting at home doing nothing and being in pain with nobody to talk to or comfort her and Emily came to her rescue. I am sure Heidi was so grateful. Of everyone I know Emily has the least amount of time, energy and money to be doing this and yet she did. She has certainly reserved her spot in heaven. How many times do we look the other way or make excuses because we are busy and have our own needs to take care of. Emily is an inspiration and an example. I have learned a lot from her today.

Perfection

For most of my life I have tried to achieve perfection in some area or another. I would spend endless amounts of wasted time comparing myself to others and never measuring up. For the most part I tried to achieve this perfection in things that didn't really matter. I would try and let other peoples perception of me be tainted in some way. I was dishonest. I always wanted to have the nicest house or be in the best shape, have the nicest singing voice or the perfect wardrobe and when I didn't I would put the magic curtain up and hope nobody would notice that I wasn't perfect. This is my Achilles heel. I will always struggle with these things but here it is - written down for all to see. I am not perfect. I am messy and unorganized. I spend too much money on silly things like clothes and makeup. Singing is not my forte no matter how hard I try and eventually this body will look like an old handbag. I have doubts and lack confidence often. I struggle even more in things that really matter. I am not the first person to volunteer. I am not always thinking about how to help other people. Sometimes I just don't want to hear about how John's day was and a common comment to my children is "uh huh" when I am not listening. Sometimes at night when I am praying I start to think about the next days choreography (oops, sorry God). This is not to say that I don't try. I do try every day to be a better person but the human-ness in me comes out. Why are humans the only beings unsatisfied with themselves? Animals seem to be perfectly content with who they are even if they are not content with their surroundings. God made us this way. I think we must need to learn to love ourselves along with the love we have for others in order to truly be with God. There is a prayer we say at mass every Sunday where we ask for forgiveness for "the things I have done and the things I have failed to do". The "failed to do" part gets me every time. I think the answer to almost any question is Love. So I will try and love myself, love others and love God and I pray that this is enough. So, if you find me someday talking to you on the phone and a standard "uh huh" comes out of my mouth. Please forgive me. I am working on it. I am working on what God wants me to be.

Reflection

A week from tomorrow is my birthday at which point I will be forced to re-name my blog. I still intend to blog but not on a daily basis. I am reserving this final week for reflection on the past year and the past 40 years. If there is anything I want people to walk away with from reading this blog is that they are loved. If you know me you are loved. I love everyone I surround myself with and see unique and irreplaceable qualities in every person God leads me to meet. I may not see you everyday or even speak to you every week but you have made an impact in my life that has made me the person I am and I am better for it. I hope I can in some small way help all of you along this road of life because you have all helped me.

Who is this man?

Yes, another party.

Today we are celebrating these birthdays at Mary's house.

Mine (I am over it already)

Alex

Leonard

Robbie

Lindsey

Missy

Tori

A very large gathering with a lot of fun people. Happy Birthday everyone!

Summer?

Crazy hot weather today - over 90 in San Luis! John is taking the kids camping and they are so excited. I wore a tank top and shorts today and it is going to be nice outside even after the sun sets. I am sure it will be short lived but I am enjoying it!

Surgery

Today my sister Heidi had her arm put back together again. This is what they had to do - yikes!!! She was a trooper and the docs can't believe how she is handling the pain. I wish her a quick and full recovery and look forward to the day I get to arm wrestle this bionic arm!

Jenny and Nonno #2

Today is my next sister in lines birthday - Jennifer. Growing up we were best friends enjoying the great outdoors for hours and hours. We could find something to do no matter what with our imagination. I have many wonderful memories of her and I wandering the hills of wild flowers around our house and playing tag. Jennifer has had a hard life and we have grown apart a bit. I want her to know how much I love her and want only the best for her. I want her to feel safe and secure and happy and loved and healthy. Even though we don't talk that often I think of her always. Happy birthday Jennifer - I love you!

Alex is Nonno #1 (Grandpa in Italian) and his brother is Nonno #2 to our children. Today is Nonno #2s birthday - he also goes by Leonard and Dino. This man is the energizer bunny as his daughter puts it. He just keeps going and going. He turns 87 today. He is always good for a laugh and has an opinion about everything. We enjoy having him in our lives even though we don't get to see him as often as we used to. Happy Birthday Leonard! Keep on ticking!

Birthdays

Today begins a whole slew of birthdays that are bunched up together - so many that I don't know if I can write about all of them but here are a couple that are today.

Alex - Alex is Adele's husband. He has three children of his own and 5 grandchildren. He is a combination of old school charm, New York (brutal) honesty and Italian pride. He literally swept Adele off of her feet with his smooth dance moves, flattery and baby blue eyes. He is an amazing chef and he wont let you forget it (nor do we want to). He has won us all over with the love he pours into his food. I have to say that Alex seems to have mellowed with age - like a fine wine. I think he is happy to just enjoy life these days. I wont tell you how old he is because you wouldn't believe me. He is very healthy and full of energy. I am happy to have him in my life and happy Adele and Alex have each other for support, love and good times. Happy Birthday Alex!

Missy - Sweet Missy is 18. I can not believe it! When we moved up here and got to know her she was on her scooter in the front yard and only 10 (younger than Jack is now). She has grown into a beautiful young woman. So much has happened in the last few years in her life and she has handled it with grace. She is extremely smart and talented. She has a sense of humor that keeps her afloat when the going gets tough. She is a huge support to her family and we all love being around her. She is a senior this year and working hard in AP classes as she prepares for the next chapter in her life. I am sure she has big things in her future and bright prospects. Happy Birthday Missy!

Pets

My friends Stephen and Todd had to put their dog down today. We had a long discussion as to why we get so incredibly upset and grieve so much over an animal - almost more than some humans. We decided that it is because these animals live with us every day. They make us smile every day. They are in our care and it is our responsibility to take care of them. They have unconditional love for us. John said it is good that our pets don't outlive us because who would take care of them then? I am sad for my friends as I know what an incredible loss it is to lose a pet.

Sleep

Last night I got home around 1:30 am - yes I know. The bad thing is that I actually didn't fall asleep until close to 4. Mind racing, coughing, over exhaustion. Therefore, I have slept all day. I did not get dressed until close to 1pm and took several naps throughout the day. I am NOT 19 anymore and my body has no problem reminding me of that fact.

Partay!!!

Happy Birthday Mary Rose!!!!!

Mary Rose is John's oldest sister. She is super human. She is a huge corporate lawyer and a mom of 2 great girls. She travels, goes to trial, manages to help with homework, get her kids to skating practice and still has time to remember to send birthday gifts and cards to everyone she knows. She is extremely generous and very kind. She is beautiful and looks so much younger than her age. Sometimes I wish I could be just like her and get everything done but I don't think anyone can be like Mary Rose. She can do it all and for the most part has a smile on her face doing it. When I get to see her she never seems stressed and always wants to hear how everyone else is doing. I hope she knows how much she is loved and appreciated and that her efforts never go unnoticed. We love you Mary Rose! Happy Birthday!

Gym Party!

My good friends Stephen and Todd are throwing me a party with people from the gym. The invite is super cute!

Welcome To Kristin's

Technicolor Martini Party

Celebrating the

1st Anniversary of her

39th Birthday

Delicious Hors d'oeuvres

&

Exciting Liquid Libations

will be served

featuring the

"Kristini"

A slighty bold slightly blond drink with brains and beauty that will

kick your ass!

Cocktail Attire

Your Gift is your Presence

Please reply soon

Frog or sexy voice

I woke up this morning and felt like someone had kicked me in the head about 400 times during the night. My voice was also gone. I obtained subs for my morning classes and was able to get through my evening class team teaching and felt rather well..... all except the very scratchy voice. Everyone stood about 15 feet away from me when I started talking. There was a debate in class as to whether or not I sounded like a frog or a sexy woman. I am going with frog, or maybe a 13 year old boy who spent too much time yelling at the football game. Either way - it is strange to feel better but sound worse. I am looking forward to being 100% and praying that no one else gets it.

Baby sister

My baby sister Heidi had a nasty accident with her bike yesterday. While going downhill the chain locked up and she flew over the handle bars. She broke her upper right arm bone in 4 places and has 8 stitches above her right eye. She is lucky to be alive but she is in excruciating pain. She is scheduled for surgery a week from Thursday (huh????). So, please pray for her and her recovery. Thankfully she has good people helping her out - I think. I wish I was there to take care of her.

The power of prayer and chicken soup

I woke up this morning at 5am to go teach a class and noticed that my throat was a bit sore. I came home and rested until my next class at 11:15. After this class I really started to go down hill - chills, aches, headache. By 5pm I didn't want to get off of the couch. All day I did everything I could think of to get over it quickly - lots of liquids, vitamin c, tea, gargled with salt water etc. At 5:30 I crawled into bed and decided I should pray. I typically don't pray about this kind of stuff and I always feel guilty praying for myself but decided that God should hear all of my concerns. In the middle of my prayer the phone rang and John answered it. It was my dear friend Joy - she was telling him that she left some chicken soup on our front door step for me. John brought me this steaming bowl of homemade chicken soup and at the first bite tears streamed down my face. This was by far the best chicken soup I have ever tasted - I could almost feel it heal me with every bite. God answered my prayer immediately through Joy. He assured me that he was there in my time of need. Joy answered his call - she could have ignored it (she has 3 young children and her husband was not around at the time) but she didn't - she went out of her way to make me chicken soup on the spot when she heard I wasn't feeling well. I have had WAY too many situations like this to ever have doubt about Gods existence. I would bet that most people have - maybe they don't want to pay attention to it or decide that their version of the truth is better - but time and again God lets me know he is a God of Love and we are all his children.

Nothing

I am happy to say I did absolutely nothing today. Didn't lift a finger to clean the house (even though it drastically needs it), didn't do a lick of laundry (even though Julia has nothing to wear) and I even baked a pre-made costco pizza for dinner. Today was my day off without any teaching and I decided to just veg with the family. We had a nice time in church listening to how great marriage it - and fortunately I agreed with the priest.

Fall has arrived

Mary Poppins must be on the move because the winds have changed. We turned the fireplace on for the first time this week and you instantly get a chill when you walk outside. Very strange weather - reminds me of Colorado. 80 degrees on day and 45 the next. I do have to say I love the fall but especially love the warm fall days. I love the position of the sun and think it makes everything look that much more beautiful. Time for soup and homemade bread, cozy gatherings and long sleeve shirts. Happy Autumn!

Bundled up bunnies

I guess there isn't a whole lot to do in January because there sure are a lot of people with October birthdays. What else are you going to do when it is cold and grey outside? I just counted 15 people I know right off the top of my head with October birthdays and I wasn't even trying. I think I need an extra bank account just for this month! Of course Julia was born November 5th and she was late - she should have been an October birthday. I guess I understand.

Teacher # 4

Julia will soon have her 4th teacher of the year. After our parent teacher conference they have assured me this will be the last one. Julia seems to be rolling with the punches and I don't want to introduce even more change into her little world. She will be a very well adjusted adult as a result....... I hope.