Monday, March 1, 2010

Choice

You know there are a lot of theories out there regarding manifest destiny. I am not sure that I agree with all of them. You see, I don't think that I brought on this cancer myself. I believe that my body, maybe like my mother's, was predisposed to make a nice little home for this cancer to grow when I turned 40. I don't think my thinking had anything to do with it. I was not afraid of it. In fact I was very pro-active about it in the last ten years with yearly mammograms and self exams so that I would not be afraid. I think of those people who are absolutely shocked when they are diagnosed with a disease - sometimes something they have never even heard of before. Did they bring it on themselves? No. How can we go around thinking that everything bad that happens to us is by our own bad energy? Earthquakes? Fires? I don't think so.

I do however believe that we have a choice in how we deal with these events. I choose to have a very positive outlook on things - for the most part I always have - long before this diagnosis. I have been labeled little miss sunshine for awhile. But why not? Why not choose to live in the most positive way that you can? Why not spread around good thoughts and energy?

Why do bad things happen to good people? Ahhh that age old question. Well, I think that our view on what is "bad" is all relative. I can see how this "cancer" has already brought me closer to my husband, to my children and my family and friends. I can see how it has made my life richer and more meaningful. I know that when my mother passed away I was very, very sad. But if she had not - I never would have met or married John. My life would have had a different direction and I can almost guarantee that in that direction I would have faced an equal or greater challenge than losing my mom at a young age.

We can choose to dwell on the negative and live in an unsatisfied state - perpetually standing still - or we can choose to take those challenges and learn from them and move on. I am choosing to move on.

4 comments:

Kim Safina said...

The Journey Continues ~

Kristin,

Thank you for such a deep post.

I am truly honored and blessed to call you friend!

My "daily" prayers are with you.

With blessings,
Kim <3<3<3

kalantha said...

I am sure you are right. It is so hard to accept the unpleasant, frightening things in our lives, but they are part of the tapestry. And they make us truly thankful for the good. Many of my strongest friendships were forged in the years after my mother died. It doesn't make the sadness better,but it somehow restores a balance. Living each day fully is a challenge worth taking up.

willie boy williamson said...

We all need to face our own mortality. Cancer can make you face your own mortality, so can a firing gun pointed in your direction, or a car accident, or many other ways. For me it came at the end of a gun when I was young. That with several other violent episodes made me face my own death. However it happens, it's takes deaths sting away. To no longer fear death is to live free. I saw it face to face and here I am. Hope I wasn't insensitive. You are an inspiration!

SwaT said...

I like your 'move on'! nice post!