Monday, March 29, 2010

Memory

If anyone is going to get Alzheimer's it is going to be me. For some reason I just don't put a lot of stock in the past. I can easily memorize choreography or learn something but to catalog and retain details from the past almost seem like a waste of time to me. My children are going to need therapy someday just because their mother wont know how old they were when they lost their first tooth or took their first step. It doesn't mean I love them any less - in fact I think it just makes me love them more - the way they are right now. Fortunately, I do have photographs and I did write a few things down. I also don't hang onto things. All of their fine artwork? Most of it is in a happy little graveyard where finger paintings and chalk drawings go.

I guess I am of the nature to just move on. Like these breasts of mine. Yeah, I kind of like them but they are going to some other place in a few months. They did what they were suppose to do - fed my children, attracted my husband. Now I can let them go and marvel at modern medicine and embrace the new ones - scars and all. I may not remember the details of this life when it is over but I will most certainly remember the love. I will remember what it was like to know you - not your hair or your clothes or how smart you were - just you.

3 comments:

Michaela said...

Dear girl, I feel sad reading your words, especially about your breasts. I think we can't take any of it with us, not the possessions, and not the details either. My own hope is that my life amounts to other people being touched by me. I try to have the courage to be as real as I possibly can. Hopefully I have touched other people and also made the world a better place during the time I've been in it. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts in your blog. xx

All for You said...

Hi, I have been following your blog since January. I recently became a member blogger myself. I just wanted you to know that even though I am in Miami and I do not know you. I think of you often and everything you have been going through. Perhaps you may not feel like an inspiration but if I have to ever go through what you are going through may God provide me with the courage you show you have. I did not know what tyoe of cancer you had until today. Know I only know one person with breast cancer a co-worker and now you. I feel somewhat responsible to do something for you and people like you. I am pledging right now to do the Susan G. Komen walk in Miami on Saturday, October 16, 2010 I know that this probably does not mean much but this is my way of thanking you for inspiring and being sooo strong for your children.

Sonia Beatriz said...

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