Janis Lee
Today is my Mom's Birthday. We have been missing her for 16 years. This picture was taken when she was just a few years older than I am now and was taken before the wrath of Cancer deteriorated her body.....but it never touched her soul. She was a very positive person (maybe I get that from her) and an extreme fighter. She lived beyond any expectations from doctors - I don't think she was ever ready to leave her family. She lived a pretty pure life after marrying my Father. When she was young her family traveled and moved all of the time so when she met my Dad all she wanted to do was stay put. She was always a "natural" person. She believed in organics long before they were popular and we always had healthy food to eat (I was the kid who coveted the Doritos at school). Things were not that important to her - family was. She loved babies so she decided to have 8 of them. My Dad went along for the ride - I think he worried about taking care of us since he was the provider but I know how much he loved her.
My childhood is separated into two parts BC (before cancer) and AC (after cancer). It was always hanging over my head but that was because I was the oldest. My mom never wanted us to feel its effects. She wanted our lives to be as normal as possible. I still don't know why God took her, I hope someday I will figure it out.
Today is bittersweet (it always is). I try and focus on her life and what an amazing woman she was. How she taught me to stand up for what I believe in. The courage she had when faced with unimaginable challenges. The love she shared with everyone around her. But I miss having her in my life. I wonder what she would think of my children. I wonder how my life might be different if she were here. I think as an adult I am actually quite different from her - I think I am a bit more like my dad in some ways but I don't really know. I didn't get to enjoy my adult life with her at all but I am grateful for the time I did have with her.
Happy Birthday Mom. I love you. I miss your smile. I miss your voice. I miss your positive energy. I miss your touch - especially your hands. I miss the light in your eyes. I miss being able to take care of you as you grow old. I miss your advice. I miss you being a grandmother. Thank you helping me become the person I am now. Thank you for taking such good care of me and loving me so much. I look forward to when I get to see you again - when your body isn't broken and your light shines even more brightly than it did here on earth.
7 comments:
What a beautiful picture. I remember your mom being one of my favorites of all my friends parents. The patience she seemed to possess always amazed me. And, she seemed incredibly happy with the life she made with your Dad. I'm glad I had the chance to know her. My thoughts are with you today as you celebrate her and what she meant to you. Love, T~
Oh, Kristin. What a beautiful tribute to your mother. I know that she would be so proud of you as a wife, mother and person. And, I know that she would adore your kids. It's so hard to let our loved ones go on ahead before us, but I, too am thankful for the hope and the assurance of seeing her (and my mom) one day. Actually, if you think about it, I bet your mom, mine and Janell's are friends in Heaven. I bet they have lunch together all the time! I love you my sweet friend.
I can hardly see through my tears to write this. You are like your mom, an amazing woman and I thank her for having you and raising you to be the beautiful person that you are. I can only imagine how much joy you and your siblings brought her.
Thanks for sharing her with us! Love you K.
I didn't meet you until your mom was already sick, but I'll never forget how welcoming she always was. I'd be standing there in my awkward-teenager-ness not knowing where to look with her hospital bed in the living room, and she acted so NORMAL and always put me at ease. I remember talking to her about the prom for some reason. Probably the only thing I was talking about at the time... She was a very happy person, I clearly remember that - I only remember her smiling. And I remember how hard it was for you as she got worse. I remember the day you picked her up and she weighed so little - it was so scary for you. Kristin, she would be so proud of the woman, wife, and mother you have become. You are strong, caring, happy - everything she would hope for. She's smiling down at you from heaven every day, rooting you on. Love, Sally
What amazing friends I have. Thank you all for your wonderful sentiments - sometimes it is nice to have affirmation. Thank you!!!
The Journey Continues ~
Dearest Kristin,
You have been blessed with joy, sorrow, laughter and tears!
It was heartfelt reading the words from you heart regarding your mother!
I am honored to know you and look forward to spending more time with you and your precious family!
Your children are gorgeous and full of God's gifts!
Dave and I hope to be added to your group of friends ~
With "Heaven Bound" blessings,
Kim Safina
http://www.kimsafinathejourneycontinues.blogspot.com
i loved your mom.
i remeber balling my eyes out at her funeral and your family not understanding why, but i knew then how much she would be missed in our life. She cemented what i loved about you. You have her in you and so much more. she would be so pround of you and be crazy about our children, our dog, fish, and crazy little catapiller in his cacoon.
if you think of her she is there.
Post a Comment