Saturday, January 16, 2010

Bouffants and boobies

I am trying desperately to not grieve over the loss of my hair and breasts. I know this will be a process. I try to tell myself not to be vain and that the image in the mirror will only be a passing one and one that continuously changes. It is just the blaring sign that I must carry around this town that says "I have cancer" that bothers me most. I have started to think about it differently though. Do I need these things to hug my children? Will it prevent me from continuing in my life the same way when this is over? No, not really. They are just decorations. Things that make me look pretty. I hope some day to live to be 80 years old. By then hair and boobs will just be getting in the way. I just have to come to terms with my new freedom a bit earlier in life - that's all.

4 comments:

trulyjulie said...

Kristin...

As I was reading your entry, I just wanted to find the right words to say to you. But that is impossible, so I looked through Proverbs and this scripture jumped out at me. We all know true beauty is on the inside, and I believe you have that true beauty, despite body parts.

Proverbs 25" She is clothed with strength and dignity,
and she laughs without fear of the future.
26 When she speaks, her words are wise,
and she gives instructions with kindness.
27 She carefully watches everything in her household
and suffers nothing from laziness.

28 Her children stand and bless her.
Her husband praises her:
29 “There are many virtuous and capable women in the world,
but you surpass them all!”

30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last;
but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised.
31 Reward her for all she has done.
Let her deeds publicly declare her praise."

You are a woman who fears the Lord, and knows what is important in life. I hope this scripture brings you some encouragement today.

love you..

trulyjulie

joy said...

ditto what she said :) seriously speaking, you have such a positive attitude and i admire your strength and courage! you are one of the bravest people i know. i won't pretend to know what it must feel like going into these days ahead, but know that i'm here and i love you--with or without hair and boobs. and you can still have some of my skin

Sally said...

What is it about the word "boobies" that still makes me giggle? I must be an adolescent boy inside. :-)I sent you an email, but wanted to say that your beauty is so much deeper than mere body parts and adornments. I am in awe of you and how you are handling this card you were dealt. Go! Fight! Win! :-) (Makes me wish I was a real cheerleader so I knew some other cheers... that's the extent of my knowledge right there.) PS - really wish I could come to your class on Tuesday!!!

swest335 said...

Kristin, I cannot pretend that I know how you feel or what and your family are dealing with. I do know that you are an amazing person, you will get through this and you will fight harder then anyone I know. In the end you will have your family and I know that is what is truly most important to you. Hang tough - I am thinking of you! Sandy